Monday, September 28, 2009

The Grammar Nazi ( a.k.a. Mother )

Mothers are wonderful. They do all kinds of things for you that you know they wouldn't really care to do if they hadn't birthed you. They clean stuff, mend stuff, bake cakes, and... oh wait...just kidding. That's what maids are for!

My mother has dabbled in those activities, but her favorite thing to do for me is correct my grammar. It's just how she shows love. She's a "wordy" kind of gal, which may explain why I could read at three and never studied for a vocabulary test once in my life.

Spelling test? Make a "B"? Never happened. In fact, we had a semi-standing agreement that if she forgot to sign my spelling study sheet on Thursday night before the test on Friday, I could just forge her name. Of course the forgery didn't stop there. It's the whole "give an inch, take a mile" thing.

But grammar, the bain of my existence, well, that was a different story. Lay versus lie? Still can't get it right. Comma placement? Umm, no clue. When to hyphenate? Who cares?!

I'll tell you who cares...she does. I know she does because she just called to say hello, make small talk for a brief second, and then let the grammar parade take to the streets . My last post was chock full of errors. I apologize. I hope you all enjoyed it just the same. She could not understand why in God's name I did not hyphenate "three inch" heels. Why in the world would I use the "%" sign as opposed to spelling out the actual word?

In fact, she is now a follower on my blog. Her name: "Ms. Gramma Check".

Cute. Real, real cute. Is that a play on words smarty pants? Oh wait, that's called a "pun" in literary terms.

Pardon me. Or as she likes to say, "Edit, edit".

Sunday, September 27, 2009

Roll Tide Roll

Football season is upon us. Yeah! Kinda.

I like the idea of football season, but in actuality, it is really an arduous task for me. First of all, I went to Alabama and in case you hadn't heard, football is kind of a big deal there. Which also means being there, in Bryant-Denny with your little red and white shaker is, too. And so is the all important game day fashion, which has eluded me lately. By the time Saturday rolls around, the thought of dressing up in my newest frock and wearing three inch red crocodile heels just exhausts me. I do it Monday through Friday and well, it's hellish. I wore jeans to Tuscaloosa yesterday...JEANS!

Why you ask? Well, it was the start of a new tradition in the Jensen household - big time tailgating...I mean generator, flat screen TV, and the damn Weber grill tied to the back of the car. Let me illustrate...



Perhaps you have noticed that it is dark outside in this photograph. That's because it was 5:45 in the morning..on a Saturday...and on a day in which our local weatherman called for a 90% chance of rain. So, on the off chance we might luck out with the 10% chance of decent weather, the Mr. spent 24 hours prior to this photograph packing tupperware containers, pattying hamburgers, tearing the TV off my bedroom wall, and then tying it to the back of our car on a newly purchased tailgate apparatus for the drive to Tuscaloosa. And as you can see, he had company in this mission below.



And boy were they proud. She's pretty happy, too. I mean she even has "Big Al" cookies for us at 7:15 in the morning.



Notice I am not to be found on this scene. Why? Because I was a) wearing jeans, b) wearing glasses, and c) just counting down the minutes until we uncorked the champagne for Mimosas. That was going to be the highlight for me, I just knew it.

So we get to Tuscaloosa, find a great place to tailgate, which is now officially "ours" until the end of time according to the Mr., and then we proceed to unpack. It all spills out of the car with ease and we have little trouble making this year long dream a reality. We ate , I got sleepy, made the Mr. turn on the car so I could have air conditioning, and then I napped. Only to be awakened by what? A torrential rain. Imagine that? We didn't score on the 10% off chance this would not happen. This is the Mr. after said event:



Yep. Soaking wet and apparently confused by his beer.

Once the rain stopped the humidity set in and it was a little sauna-esque. I changed into dry clothes...(you didn't really think I was wearing jeans did you?) and trudged to the game with a roll of paper towels in my purse. I was not about to sit on a wet stadium seat, nor was my purse going to do the same. I probably looked a little silly drying off everything around me, but well, it's certainly not the first time.

We made it back afterwards, took everything down, dried it off, and packed it all back into "Big Red" for the ride home. For some reason I always have to drive us home, which is a real treat. For there are always two backseat drivers telling me exactly how they would be driving if they were in command. Of course, I don't listen and instead turn the heat on full blast and roast them until they shut up. It's a favorite trick.

Nesxt stop: Homecoming Game against South Carolina. Ya'll come on down if you want. We'll be the ones at Bryant and Sixth at about, oh , 4:30 in the morning.

Monday, September 7, 2009

Musings on Labor Day

I don't really get Labor Day. It's kinda silly, but I'm not complaining. I'm a banker after all and we take all the silly holidays...umm, Columbus Day? But like I said...I'm not complaining.

So the long weekend was a good one. Friday night we had my Dad and Lyn in town to get ready for Laura's party. Saturday was all party, all day long. And yesterday, was just plain fun. The Mr. and I enjoyed a nice lunch, followed by shopping, and more shopping, and then being lazy at home. For him, this meant scrutinizing the Bama game one more time thanks to DVR, and for me, it meant breaking out the monogramming machine and my new sewing machine to get started on something exciting...what that is, I'm not sure.

Today, my Mom and I spent some time running the thrift/antiques circuit and listing out latest treasures on Ebay, which really is my ABSOLUTE favorite thing in the world to do. This was followed by more sewing and monogramming, and now, this.
The Mr. leaves very soon( try 6 hours from now) for a week of work in Charlotte, NC, followed by two more weeks away. I hate this part...

So, I'll be here, just doing what I do..but I'll keep you posted!!!

Sunday, September 6, 2009

Laura's Surprise 40th Party

My sister turned 40 today and we celebrated with a surprise party last night, Mexican style!!! She's getting old, that girl...

 

 

 

 


Happy Birthday, Sister!!!

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

The Best Laid Plans...

Yes, it's true, the best laid plans of mice and men oft do go astray.

It has been a week since I last blogged and while my intentions ( the "best laid plan" part) have been to be a frequent updater, brimming with fun and new things, life just hasn't worked out that way ( the "astray" part). It's been a busy week to say the least, so here's an update since last Tuesday:

- Last Tuesday sucked. See previous entry.

-Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday followed suit. I was sick most of those days, but trudged through the work week until one o'clock on Friday when I could take no more. I came home, made my own chicken noodle soup, and soothed my soul with a few helpings while watching Judge Hatchett in my room. When I say I made my own soup, I mean I really made it, like from scratch. Not my "good" Paula Deen recipe ( mouth watering yet, Jensen?), but more like something my Mom would have made and tried to pass off as "real" soup ( broth, can of peas, egg noodles, and a boat load of pepper).

- Saturday I felt better. Good enough to go to the driving range with the Mr. and hit a few golf balls. Only a few though, as my athletic streak was short-lived (big surprise there)and the heat made me succumb to my normal antics. That means complaining that it's hot, describing every inch of misery to the Mr., and well, acting like a seven year old. He's used to it.

-On Sunday I slept late...nine o'clock. Whoa. And then I decided to clean out a closet, which is always a big mistake when you have company coming in just a few days. I can't ever seem to "organize" ( i.e. throw it all back in the closet) in the same way. The highlight of the day was the Mr. making homemade French Onion Soup which was divine. Apparently the Jensen's are some soup lovers.

-Monday came and went like all Mondays do. However, I will add that this Monday seemed to last a lot longer than most. Perhaps it was the 12 hour workday? Or the fact that I decided to bathe Bitsy at midnight? Or the maybe I was still tired from all that cleaning out I did on Sunday?

And here we are, another Tuesday. My Wii is still broken, my husband collected a piece of crappy furniture from our even crappier old neighbor which is now in my guest bedroom, and to top it all off, I have to do it all over again tomorrow.

Next post: Something Shiny and Fun, but potentially fictional...:)