Mothers are wonderful. They do all kinds of things for you that you know they wouldn't really care to do if they hadn't birthed you. They clean stuff, mend stuff, bake cakes, and... oh wait...just kidding. That's what maids are for!
My mother has dabbled in those activities, but her favorite thing to do for me is correct my grammar. It's just how she shows love. She's a "wordy" kind of gal, which may explain why I could read at three and never studied for a vocabulary test once in my life.
Spelling test? Make a "B"? Never happened. In fact, we had a semi-standing agreement that if she forgot to sign my spelling study sheet on Thursday night before the test on Friday, I could just forge her name. Of course the forgery didn't stop there. It's the whole "give an inch, take a mile" thing.
But grammar, the bain of my existence, well, that was a different story. Lay versus lie? Still can't get it right. Comma placement? Umm, no clue. When to hyphenate? Who cares?!
I'll tell you who cares...she does. I know she does because she just called to say hello, make small talk for a brief second, and then let the grammar parade take to the streets . My last post was chock full of errors. I apologize. I hope you all enjoyed it just the same. She could not understand why in God's name I did not hyphenate "three inch" heels. Why in the world would I use the "%" sign as opposed to spelling out the actual word?
In fact, she is now a follower on my blog. Her name: "Ms. Gramma Check".
Cute. Real, real cute. Is that a play on words smarty pants? Oh wait, that's called a "pun" in literary terms.
Pardon me. Or as she likes to say, "Edit, edit".
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9 comments:
Remember, people "lie," and things "lay." I do appreciate your well-written posts (was I suppose to hyphenate "well-written?" . . . Aunt Susan?). Really bad grammar totally gets on my nerves, especially use of an incorrect verb tense (i.e. "I seen her the other day"). Which, you, of course, would never do. [I am feeling really insecure about my coma placement in the preceding sentence.] Please keep the posts coming- they make me laugh!
Oh no, I just googled it, and I should have used "e.g." instead of "i.e."; I always get those confused!
Christa, your comma placement is excellent in the specific sentence to which you referred. It is absolutely perfect. I will tell you why it is perfect. You set off the parenthetical expression with commas, specifically, "of course." You did, however, incorrectly spell coma. You explanation for the use of lie and lay was exemplary. As "well-written" is a compound modifier, yes, you correctly hyphenated it.
I am concerned that the American culture, has regressed in the proper use of syntax and grammar. It is disconcerting to hear a national broadcaster subject-pronoun agreement. The example I heard today was during Paul Feinbaum's radio program. A caller or a guest made a comment along these lines: "The player is going to have to play up to THEIR potential." Since, as I'm sure you know, the word "player" is singular and "his
is the corrent pronoun. The sentence would have been correct had the speaker said, "The player is going to have to play up to his potential," OR "The players ARE going to have to play up to their potential."
Lesson of the day for all of my followers: The root origin, or etymology, "re" meaning "back" or again" is from Latin. For all of my dear students, kindly take this into acccount when using words beginning with "re" to avoid redundancy. For one to say, "I am going to return this coat back to Belk's," is to say "I'm going to 'back take' this coat back to Belk's."
In the same vein, kindly avoid at all cost similar redundancies such as "Report back to me when the project is complete." The root "re" did, does, and always will mean "back." Never ever use both in the same sentence. There's no need to return that book "BACK" to the library, now is there? Also, one doesn't want to "restart the video again. Once ought to do it.
Fondly,
Ms. Grammar Check
Ms. Gramma Check makes the following corrections to the previous copy:
1: There should be quotation marks after "restart the video again.(")
2: Replace "and" with "therefore" (set off with commas, as "therefore" is a longer coordinating conjunction) in the sentence: "Since, as I'm sure you know, the word "player" is singular and "his
is the corrent pronoun.
Edit, edit!
Ms. Gramma
In correction No. 2, please note that the word "his(") requires the closing quotation marks.
Ms. Gramma
Correction No. 3:
(One NEVER apologizes for corrections, well, unless, one works for a publication in which the apology could mitigate damages in a libel lawsuit.)
"It is disconcerting to hear a national broadcaster (butcher)subject-pronoun agreement.
Ms. Gramma
These comments are cracking me up! Love it!! Ms. Gramma Check - please ignore all my grammar mistakes, as I am sure there are always many, and being a stalker of Mrs. Jensen's Journal - I'm sure to be posting often! Hope to see you soon Ms. Gramma Check - can't believe I haven't seen you since you moved to the 'ham!
Love, Anne
i love this !!!!!
affect vs. effect. i don't think people realize the difference. this drives me crazy at work.
Emily, I loved your story! Your Aunt Kate gave me the link to the blog to read this. However, now I am paranoid about posting because of the severe grammar checks! LOL I would love to see pictures of California! Tony and I cheered, screamed, and cussed several times last night! Hope you and your hubby are doing wonderful! Love ya! Aunt Beth
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