From time to time, I am taken aback by the Mr.'s reaction to things. For instance, he seems totally mesmerized by spices, especially the kind in tiny glass jars . Well, that and trashy reality shows like the Real Housewives of New York.
But today, however, he took it to a whole new level. Let me set the scene:
Two months ago we recieved a postcard in the mail stating that we had been selected as a "Nielsen family", and that additional information would be coming soon. I nearly tossed the card, not caring to participate in a mass research program regarding television, as watching TV isn't something I do much of. I was met with a response of "what are you thinking?", as the Mr. yanked the card from the trash and proceeded to explain to me what an immense and immeasurable honor it was to be a "Nielsen family". This was followed by his proclamation that he had "dreamed of this for years".
I know what y'all are thinking, but sadly, he was serious.
Two weeks later a large package arrived with even more information about becoming a "Nielsen family". To peak the interest of people like me, they even tossed in two crisp one dollar bills, just to show us that they meant business. As I stuffed the cash in a kitchen drawer, I once again thought to toss the package, but left it for the Mr., knowing he'd really never take the time to fill out the first Nielsen survey, which was included as a pre-req for continuing this little journey.
What the hell do I know? He did.
And then came today -- May 8, 2010.
"Nielsen" called the Mr. as he sped down Highway 280. Here's the convo:
Mr: "Yes, this is Mr. Jensen ( pause )..."Oh, Hi Claire!"
( At this point I'm waving my hands and mouthing expletives for him to simultaneously slow his speed, and tell me who the hell Claire was)
Mr: "I've been waiting for your call, Claire. We are so honored to become a part of the Nielsen family. "
( Oh, me? I'm just vomiting in the passenger seat at this point.)
Mr.: "Mmm..yes, we have three. Mmmm, yes DVR....Oh okay!!!....Umm, Yes.....Great, Claire. Sounds great."
( I'm staring out the window wondering what ole' Claire was thinking about this overzealous doofus on the other end of the phone. Was everyone this excited?)
Mr: "Well, this will be great. So, we just use the journals, and we get a cash incentive. How nice!"
(My sarcasm was ceasing..."cash incentive" is my middle name.)
Mr: " I'll be checking the mailbox for it. Thanks again for choosing us, Claire. We are really proud."
I was laughing outloud by the time the Mr. and his new lady friend, Claire, hung up. He was beaming ear to ear when he told me "we'd" be keeping TV journals and "we'd" get $35 for it. As I laughed, he asked me how much money I'd made today and then I reminded him that I had worked, and I felt certain it was more than 35 bucks.
For another 10 minutes I got the scoop on this "Nielsen family" we'd become a part of. I was also instructed to keep our family TV journal in the basket on the coffee table "with a pen next to it at all times". Sure. I'll get right on that. Does this clan also have meetings at their compound in the woods?
I haven't broken the news to him yet, but while he's planning for this year's holiday card to say "Merry Christmas from The Jensen's, A Nielsen Family", I just read that we are one of over a million families to be included.
It's gonna be a long weekend.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
4 comments:
To Mr. and Mrs. Jensen:
Thank you both for a wonderful Mother's Day! My first "REAL" nine holes of golf! Both of you guys are always thoughtful and good to me. But yesterday is one of those banner days a mother never forgets-memories to hold sweet forever with my two favorite people! My love to both of you.
Mrs. Jensen may share the details of the special wiggle squiggle that I perform to get my foot placement just right; or the attention I drew on the course, to wit: the backhoe driver dismounting his heavy equipment to instruct me as to how I should keep the first knuckle on my left hand turned toward the top of the club, while keeping the bottom of the club postured closer to my left foot.
OK. So he wasn't one of those pool boy/cabana-tending hunka hunkas we all see on sleazy Magnolia Lane -excuse me while I drool.
Actually, when I heard him cut the engine on that big boy he was driving, I was reticent to look up, fearing that he was headed for cover.
But, no. He was headed for me. Lately, when a man approaches me, I am assuming it is to tell me that I am driving 82 mph in a 35 mph zone; to return my census form; or to advise me that he "figured that I'd want to know" he had witnessed a mutual neighbor stealing my trash and my trash cans right off of the patio; or, once again, the police who I invited "up to the house" to talk about crazy people who steal one's garbage.
HILLARIOUS!!! I love it!!! Yall crack me up!!
Dear A&C and Sweet Company Onboard:
Thanks, honey. It was such a nice day. Mr. Jensen is a very good golfer. I used to go to the Spring Hill Golf Club driving range in Mobile just about every Sunday. I loved it. And, boy, do I love a good, fast golf cart. I often have gone to my brother's house in a rural area in north Alabama. He has a spunky - albiet old and spunky - white golf cart that, when I am there, I jump in and drive up and down country roads to get a suntan. I usually have no clue as to how much gas is in that little monkey, so I rarely go farther than a mile in any one direction. I just like to ride, not push. I guess it's the equivalent of a convertible to me. A convertible that is illegal to have on the road, that has no sides to it, and is short on a high-quality sound system. Bitsy likes it, too! The wind in our hair! LOL
Well, enough about my glamous life )))))))). How are you? How is sweet Mr. H? It was great to see y'all, and you really do look beautiful. I send love to all of you!
I too once dreamed of becoming a Nielsen home when I was but a wee lass. Keep the faith Bro In Law.
Post a Comment